Thursday - February 19

The cold has settled in, but we missed the ice, which was very nice.

Last night, I spent the evening with a lady in our church who has Pique's disease, which attacks the front part of the brain. She has become totally dependent at this point, and her faithful husband cares for her patiently and lovingly. He likes to go to pray with the deacons every Wednesday, so several ladies in the church offer to sit with Cindy while he is gone.

Each week that I spend with Cindy, I am struck by so many emotions all at once. There is the sorrow of knowing that I will not hear her voice tonight because she cannot talk to me. I deal with the questioning of whether she understands anything that I am saying to her. Does she hear me read to her? Can she understand the music? Is she comfortable? What does she need? How can I know? Where is she? There is the sweetness of her squeezing my hand - though it is never in response to anything particular. She just squeezes it. Her eyes seem to want to talk, but are too tired and she no longer shakes her head either in affirmation or negation. So, we sit, and I find that I am tired from the lack of knowing what to do. We usually end up watching a Rosemary & Thyme or Foyle's War. Soon she falls asleep and naps for a bit in her chair. Then I play Twirl or go on Facebook or blog. Last night when I left, I squeezed her hand and said, "Goodbye Cindy. I love you." She looked right into my eyes and her mouth quivered a bit. I wanted to call it a smile and think that she understood me. Then I go to the car and cry because I miss her, and because I feel so helpless to know how to be a good friend.

This morning, I still ache for Cindy - and for Don, her husband. He cares of her everyday and I am sure he struggles with the same things. I pray for her, and for him. I am so thankful that she is God's child, and He is caring for her soul and keeping her for Himself. She has the peace of belonging to Jesus. Whether she realizes it now or not, He keeps us all in His hand.

Mental illness is amazingly difficult. I cannot pretend to compare it to all the sufferings of this world, but it certainly ranks for me as one of the most difficult trials of life.

Please pray for Cindy and Don today if you have the time. The road is long and difficult, but the Lord is faithful. He is faithful to them.